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The Endless One
Endless Jess in the flesh. The oldschool fool with that oldschool cool. The drowning in footwear, horseshoe, kayfabe KING. Jesse Wood is the master and commander of the Endless Jess universe, sent from space to guide us all. The Footwear Era Drowning in Footwear is most likely Jesse's first venture into the world of making videos for the internet. The channel premiered in October 2011 with a video called "Demons Souls Review- Drowning in Footwear", which was posted on the That Guy With the Glasses forums. It was here that Jesse met and befriended the other members of the Broken Down Geeks before realizing how shit the TGWTG forums were and abandoning them. Video game reviews would go on to be come a main feature of the channel, though as its slogan suggests, Drowning in Footwear featured a fairly miscellaneous assortment of videos beyond reviews, much like Endless Jess today. The Horseshoe Saga Eventually, the Footwear Man lost his way, falling down a rabbit-hole of brony bullshit too vast for one man. He accepted his role in the madness, appointing himself the lord of shit mountain. With his trusty compadre Colt Corona at his side, Jesse proceeded to wrap the brony community around his finger with his sharp wit and insightful analysis. Eventually the bullshit overflowed and collapsed in on itself, culminating in the Horseshoe God delivering one final promo before transcending our realm, freeing Jess from the shackles of bronydom at last. Mr. Manchild Goes Corporate In the wake of The Horseshoe God's collapse, the remaining fragments of the empire gathered to read the last will and testament of the Horseshoe King. In a shocking turn of a events, the departed king denounces his throne and strictly advises his future self to "SELL OUT". This leads to the birth of "Cerealized", a new series of (literally) bite-sized editorials on "cartoon comedy and neckbeard nostalgia". In his will, The Horseshoe King leaves Jesse his crown and defunct scepter, claiming "it can quell any evil" at full power. The significance of this is still unknown. Strongly opposed to the new corporate make-over, Colt Corona abandons ship to create his own channel of esoteric, outsider art. In a cool role-reversal from the previous arc, Colt Corona is now the starving artist fighting the tide, while Jesse has become the corporate shill, though continues to show signs of the creator he used to be. The relationship between the two has been considerably strained since the split. Best Buddies Colt Corona Born in the furnace room one fateful night, Colt Corona is a reverse centaur and one of the fundamental catalysts of the Horseshoe Saga. While conceived as a foul-mouthed, alcoholic sex predator, Colt Corona eventually blossomed into the naive, enthusiastic mascot character we know today. His child-like exuberance and loyalty to the Horseshoe Man made him a real colt of personality, and fan-favourite to this day. His tendency to burst into song has lead to many celebrated classics, such as "Little Lost Horse Boy" and "Equinus Vaginus". He dreams of someday marrying his dream-girl, Lauren Faust. Colt Corona's catchphrase is "Can I be in this video?", which is seemingly a parody of stupid Youtubers who love doing obtrusive collabs for some reason. Donatello Donatello is one of Jess' oldest, most-beloved friends. Well-known throughout the cosmos for his goofy catchphrases and thorough insanity, Donatello is a part-time ninja, full-time sexual deviant. He has expressed a vested interest in anal rape and pedophilia many times, and is believed to have raped April O'Neil and Lightning. Needless to say, he sure is swell. Vegeta Vegeta is prince of the saiyans and the coolest guy ever. Known internationally for his highly-publicized feud with Goofy, Vegeta spends his days surfing, training and overall being the coolest guy on the face of the Earth. In "Manchid Marsh", Vegeta displays a harsh lack of empathy towards the victims of the epidemic, though this is quickly replaced with genuine concern. After all, Vegeta is the OG tsundere. Hulk Hogan A pompous fool that won't stop adding another thousand pounds to Andre's weight every time he tells the Wrestlemania 3 story and only cares about putting himself over. He's a dirtbag, and a prima donna, and a hot dog. Seems to share ties with the Kayfabe Commander. Fluttershy By all accounts, best pony. Delicate and demure with the sweetest little voice. She's struggled with pill addiction in the past, but through the magic of friendship managed to overcome it. Rumor has it that Scootaloo is her secret rape-baby from some traumatic Cloudsdale assault, though this remains largely unconfirmed. Donald Duck The most powerful guy of all, you don't wanna piss off Donald. Has a secret stash of 80's drugs that he keeps hidden from the other guys, which may hold the secret to his incredible power. Beyond his intimidating exterior, Donald cares deeply for his friends, and will proudly fight for their honor. Legendary Quotes * "THIS is the face of the My Little Pony fanbase, you have EVERY right to feel uncomfortable." * "I tell the truth even when I lie" * "I guess you could call this...a comedy" * "You must have a heart of gold...'CAUSE YOUR TALKIN' CRAZY HORSE!" * "When exactly did respecting the dead become a competition?" * "We're the pussy gangsters, gimme some macaroni" * "Let's ride this poo-poo train ALL the way to the toilet!" * "Am I the Devil?" * "I didn't sell out, I bought in!" * "I tried to beat up the ocean, but always ended up...drowning" Known Waifus * Asuka Langley Soryuu * Tifa * Marceline * Fluttershy * Misato Katsuragi * Helga G. Pataki * Raven * Miss Elizabeth